#WHY DO I THINK LOVE ISNT REAL FREE#

You experienced strong trauma(s) in the past. If this doesnвЂ™t happen, we can end up with вЂ anxious attachmentвЂ™, which involves never trusting yourself or others and lacking confidence. What both these points about parenting involve is not having a caregiver who was able to offer unconditional love and trust, or what is called вЂattachmentвЂ™ in psychology.ДЄttachment theory believes that for the first seven years of life a child absolutely needs unconditional love and to be able to trustВ his or her primary caregiver. You didnвЂ™t get enough вЂattachmentвЂ™ as a kid. So their endless codependency evolves into a belief they are not good enough somehow. But of course a child canвЂ™t fix such a parent or situation. If only you acted a certain way, did certain things, were somehow a better/smarter child your parent would be ok. If a parent is unwell the child can feel responsible for the parentвЂ™s happiness. Perhaps you parent was an alcoholic, suffered depression, or was in a toxic relationship that demanded all their attention. Some children have a parent who is simply unable to offer them an environment of safety where they can trust their parent to be there for them. You main caregiver couldnвЂ™t offer you stability or safety. So we learn to suffocate our real personality and become the вЂgoodвЂ™ child, at the price of turning into an adult who never feels a sense of worth. It might have just been that your parent was not good at loving due to their own unresolved issues.ДЄs children we naturally seek approval and love. If your parent(s) always wanted you to smarter, or quieter, or sportier, or if they favoured your siblingвЂ¦.? Whatever it was, the message was that you were not enough as is. Perhaps you wanted for the approval and love that every child needs. You never wanted for anything.Д«ut then again, perhaps you did. You lived in a nice house, your parents never divorced. You had critical, demanding, or aloof parent(s). We let other people do the job for us by consciously choosing toxic friendships and unhealthy relationships.Then others put us down no matter how hard we try. Of course some of us donвЂ™t even need negative thoughts to ensure we always feel not good enough. You surround yourself with critical people.

#WHY DO I THINK LOVE ISNT REAL FREE#

Learn more in our free вЂ Guide to MindfulnessвЂ™. It is about listening and letting go to thoughts without judgement. Mindfulness is a wonderful technique for slowing down enough to hear your thoughts clearly. If we do, we might discover itвЂ™s a radio show of negativity. It is easy is to convince ourselves we are вЂpositive thinkersвЂ™.ДЄnd yet many of us donвЂ™t actually take the time to properly listen to our thoughts. If you listen deeply, your inner voice is actually critical and judgemental. Even if the parent comes back a few days later the belief sticks, and the child grows into an adult who never lets anyone close. In the childвЂ™s mind, the core belief вЂif you love someone they leave youвЂ™ takes hold. And yet we unwittingly base all our life decisions around them.ДЇor example, a child with a parent who suddenly leaves one day without offering a reason is not evolved to understand an adult having a mental breakdown, or running off for space after a fight. So they can be surprisingly dramatic and untrue. These вЂ core beliefsвЂ are often formed when we were children, with a childвЂ™s simple perspective. Low self worth is inevitably connected to the buried and hidden assumptions about the world, others, and ourselves that we mistake as fact. The thoughts we actually hear in our heads are far less powerful than those that lurk in our unconscious. 7 Reasons For Feeling Not Good Enough 1.You have hidden core beliefs that are running the show. Low self-worth often stems from very deep-rooted issues.В This becomes clear looking at the common reasons for not feeling good enough. Tried positive thinkingВ and affirmations? Read all the advice about self-confidence?Д«ut deep down stillВ are left feeling not good enough? I feel like a failure

Why do i think love isnt real